There's just a lot of things that I wish I could say to that someone straight in the face..

But I cn never find the courage to do that...

Coz I am so afraid to lose that someone that I am willing to keep everything to myself for as long as I can....

And pretend as if noting happened and what that someone did or say never hurt me when I noe that its hurting me....

Just haf to tell myself to keep smiling....

And everything will be alright..

Till the dae that i could not hold on any longer..Don't blame me if anything happened...

15 IS NOT A HAPPY NUMBER ANIMORE

Why is it difficult for a guy to plan one special day?

One special day that should be enjoyed, remembered and cherished for the rest of the year...

Why does gurls always hoped for something more and special from that guy when she know she shouldn't coz she will end up getting hurt for being hopeful?

Why does the day the girl have been waiting for so long didn't turn out the way she wished it should?

Why does guys choose not to pay attention to special day and try his very best to make the day a great one?


Why do the girl still keep feeling disappointed even after the daes have passed? There's no turning back....

Why?

I have been taking lately about what I want to do when I graduate from RP

It may seems so far away but time flies so fast nowadays that I have to start thinking about my future

We have roughly about 3 more weeks to finish 1st year and the last understanding test

After the holidays, we will be in year 2

As much as I am very excited to start my second year (if i pass), I am very worried also

Wonder how is it going to be like..will it be more stressful than 1st year or will it get better than the first year

No matter what, I am going to do my best and graduate from RP

Its too late to give up now and its too late to admit defeat

I know I can do it, it's just that I need patience and confidence to get me through

I have been discussing with my parents about continuing my studies and taking degree after I graduate from RP

The degree will be 1 year and it will be in UK or Northern Ireland

Though it sounds far fetched, I am reall aiming to take a degree overseas

If i take degree in Singapore, it will be 4 years and a bit more expensive than taking the course overseas

It is a fact that my parents could not afford that..Therefore, I am really hoping that I could get scholarships

It is not that difficult to get in, just have to maintain a gpa of 3.2

its going to use lots of money but I feel that it's worth the price

Of course, my mum is not in full support of the idea

Mainly because its far, need lots of money and I know that she is hoping that I could start working and support her as soon as I graduate from RP

But, this is my dream, this is what i want

And of course there will always be others who does not support this idea

someone very close to me

But i guess if i can wait 5 years to be with that person, what is one more year

it's not even that he have to wait 1 more year for me

it will be just like the 5 year that he wants

Now, i haf to plan my tactics n methods to get to where i want to be

hehehehe

we just haf to wait n see how the future will be

pray for me

My morning was greeted by backaches and sore throat...

Felt very sick though I have eaten panadol the nite before i went to sleep..

I keep falling sick nowadays..Not that I do not take care of myself..I mean..I start eating fruits( suppose to boost my immune system)..Eat more rice and vegetable not forgetting fish...

Drank plain water and avoided soft drinks..But i still fell sick..N it sux..It feels horrible...

On the way to skewl, I felt like vomitting wen I was in the bus..Stomach feels terrible tho i have eaten breakfast..Had to drink lots of water just so tat I dun vomit in the bus...

i dunno wat happen to my luck( it ran away) , the bus broke down at Lentor flyover..I tink its near the SLE...so we haf to get off the bus, wait at the road shoulder of the expressway for the next bus..Thankfully, we do not haf to wait long for the next bus and dere's still some seats that we could take up..I will go insane if I haf to stand for the rest of the journey...

Did I mention tat today's module is maths!

I was so tempted to go home by the first meeting..But since I want to do well and earn good grades, i stayed on and persevered..ceh ceh ceh..hahaha


3 more weeks and it will be the start of a long holiday us! woohooo!

Not only tat wen sch reopen, we will be in year 2!

I can't wait for tat...

Last nite, i couldn't sleep so i decided to write up my wishlist for 2010...

This is how it looks like...

1) Bangkok trip in march -nid to save $500
2) Need a new laptop- will take me forever to save up(pending)
3) Wants a new hp( current fone is a pain in the ass)- $300(dream on)
4) Need to start my business ASAP( in need of capital)-$500 (pelan2 kayuh)
5) WANT AND NEED IPOD TOUCH 8 GB-$308
6) Dream of having a special 21st bdae in OCTOBER- $? (planning)
7) Want that GUESS necklace and charm bracelet- $150 (haizzzzz)
8) Hope tat I can buy bf a present tat he has been eyeing-$?( problem is, i dunno wat)


Not sure if 1 year is enuff for me to work hard and get all this...

wish me luck!

Morning Everyone!!!!



I felt great tis morning(tho a bit hungry) so I decided to blog about something....


Watch King Kong last nite on Channel 5 and I was moved to tears during the last part...

King Kong is so huge and gentle at the same time..A gentle giant and just to see it being killed like tat hurts a lot..tho it's just a movie..

A great movie..One of the movie that u dun get bored even if U watch more than 10 times...


I used to think that Ipod touch was just another device and I dun think is worth the money to buy...

But I am now hooked on Ipod touch and I really2 want it...

Actually I want it coz of the game...Tons and tons of games..Nid to save enuff to buy 1..hehehehe


$308....that's like my 2 mths pay..Dunno how long its going to take me to save up..


hmmmmm..........

Pic: courtesy of Apple

It's the first day and I am so freaking tired...

The weather wasn't a great help..Was raining tis morning and how I wish I dun need to come to school...

But gt no choice..Rite now I am cracking my brain trying to make sense of today's lessons...

My brain is getting rusty tthanks to the cartoon that I have been watching (secretly) not to mention the korean dramas during the holidays...

Lots of thing happened during the holidays..

Was hospitalised due to chest pain and exhaustion though I have no idea what I am exhausted from..hehehehe

But its probably my body trying to tell me to take tings slow and haf enuff rest..

Had go through lots of Heart test and x-rays and thank god I have been cleared and the doctor says I will be as healthy as a horse provided I get enough rest...


So from then on, I have to be more careful and try not to tire myself out...

For this new year, a lot of people have been coming up with their resolutions and have been sharing with others what their resolutions are...

I decided to stay with my last year's... I have achieved some of the resolutions last year except for one...

I was supposed to save up a certain amount of money for me to travel this year...i intend to at least travel to 2 places tis year...

First destination will be Bangkok in March...That is if nothing goes wrong...


Anyway, went to the zoo during the holidays wif bf..had lots of fun watching the animals doing their own thing...Get to even ride on the fat elephant! super fun! hehehehe..


I am superduper broke rite now but there's a lot of tings on my wishlist..How?? hehehehehe...

i want $ falling down fromt the skies..hehehehehe

I am a person with great ambitions and expectations....

I always force myself to try my very best to achieve my goals...

The goals that i keep setting for myself but never manage to fully achieve it...

I always thought that I have been working hard all these years not complaining how tired I am, how sick i am of living this kind of life or even regretting of how my life has been or turn out....

I do deserve to relax and have a good time..But when I do that and then get back to reality, problems will start to add on and it never gets lesser...

Sometimes, i find myself tinking abt the tings that i want to do but can only dream of..

I pushed myself too far and it hurts every time i could not achieve it....I am sometimes even afraid to set my goals and dream of these goals...

Someone told me what is life without goals and ambitions

But what is life if u cannot achieve them...

I keep telling myself and lying to myself that it is okay if something is beyond my reach...I would go to sleep hoping that everything will change when i woke up..Just like this morning..and it work...

I forgot about what is hurting me as soon as I woke up..but by the end of the day, I am reminded of it.. I can run..run as fast as I can..but never can I hide from all these...


I dun take failures well...Furthermore if I know I have put in enough effort and its very depressing...

That is why wenever I know someone is realising their dream or working towards achieving it, I am very proud of them...It is not easy....They deserve it....

For how long more do i have to keep hoping.... :)